Letter to my Unborn Children...

"The natural state of motherhood is UNSELFISHNESS. 

When you become a mother

You are no longer the center of your own universe

You relinquish that position to your children. "

-Jessica Lange 

I, myself, am not a mother. I have always wondered what kind of mother I'd be. I knew deep down inside that I'd be an excellent one. The really overprotective kind, the kind that would bend to kiss my child's barely scraped knee. The mother who would drop everything to attend a recital. The same mother that would stand up at the very back of the room, the entire time you recited a speech. I would  look dead into your eyes...just in case you forgot a word and needed me. I would love you, my babies, selflessly..wholeheartedly...until the end of time. Bathing you, clothing you, I'd wash every tear away. I would kiss you and squeeze you and tell you how much I love you each day. When you make a mess, I won't be upset. I just want to watch  you learn and grow. I'd teach you right from wrong and when you're old enough to go alone, I'd still worry about your well-being; simply because you are mine, a gift that no-one could ever take away. The best gift that's ever been given to me, your love is pure. When you cry and whimper, it'll be me rushing to you. To calm you, & soothe you and let you suckle at my breasts. I'll watch you sleep peacefully as you lay on my chest. There will be times when I will be tired but you'll never know. When you're old enough you'll probably wonder when did mom have time to sleep. It'll be then that I'll tell you: "All I ever needed was your love--as long as you're not tired or unhappy..I can make it with little to no sleep." I'd take you to church and teach you to pray every night before bed. I'd teach you to pray every moment, every day about anything if that's what you needed or wanted to do. I'd tell you God has your back first but mama still loves you too. I know you'll vomit on my good shirt and wait until the diaper is off before you poop or pee. But I promise you I won't be mad, I've learned by now..that it's all about you and not about me. I've prepared myself for the day when you won't need me to clean you or drive you or buckle you in. You'll get tired of me chasing you around with my camera trying to get every moment on tape. Those memories aren't for me, they're for you my child. Because if I parent you just right, maybe you'll take a few notes from me. We'll play peek-a-boo and when you're able to run, I'll yell...."HEY WAIT FOR ME!" As perfect as you are to me, I know that you will make mistakes. And I want you to tell me things, everything, I'll be your listening ear. When I punish you, It will hurt me more than it hurts you. I just want you, my child, to be better than I was, be better than I am, even if I am your hero. And when you become an adult, to me you'll always be my baby. Know that this world is yours, nothing is impossible-the world is at your feet. And even when you kiss me and lay me to rest....I'll rest easy knowing that I did my very best- for you my child..my children. Just know that none of my sacrifices were for me. You see, my dear, your mother was born a caged bird, she just wanted to see her children fly freely! 

-Love Shenequa 

(Your mom to be)